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- How to Complain
I complain a lot.
The last time I complained, I was promoted. Which is a strange concept. But it made me realize something: when you complain well, it can actually accelerate your career instead of stalling it.
To my colleagues at Superpower—yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “Goddamn, we know why he’s writing about this.”
This newsletter is my journal of experiments—whether at Superpower or elsewhere. It helps me get my thoughts together, and hopefully you’ll pick up something useful from my mistakes (and occasional wins).
Here’s what I’ve learned about how to complain in a way that gets heard, respected, and acted on.
1. Don’t Just Vent, Bring Suggestions
“A complaint is a gift. It shines a light on areas that need improvement.”
Nobody likes people who highlight problems with no sense of direction. Even if your ideas are half-baked, show you’ve thought about possible fixes.
Bad: “This process is so broken.”
Better: “This process is slowing us down—I wonder if we could try [X], or brainstorm together?”
2. Use Nonviolent Communication
Shout out to Jeff who showed me this. Stick to observations, feelings, needs, requests:
Observation: “The meeting ran over by 30 minutes.”
Feeling: “I felt frustrated because it pushed my next call.”
Need: “I need predictability to manage my time.”
Request: “Could we trial time-boxing discussions?”
This avoids blame and keeps people open instead of defensive. Jeff told me he just writes into ChatGPT and asks it to transform it using Non-violent communication framework. Has been working well for me too!
3. Provide Evidence, Not Just Emotion
Saying “This always happens” weakens your case. Saying “This has happened three times in the last month” makes it real.
Complaints supported by examples, data, or patterns feel less like whining and more like problem-solving.
4. Stew Before You Speak
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Don’t complain the day something happens. In that moment, your amygdala is hijacked—you’re more emotional than rational.
Instead, write it down, let it sit, and revisit it after 24 hours. Cooling off turns a rant into a reasoned argument.
5. Pick the Right Audience & Channel
Complaining sideways spreads negativity. Complaining up or directly to the team that can act on it? That’s productive.
And channel matters:
Some issues are better written (clarity + record).
Others need live conversation (tone + empathy).
6. Acknowledge Trade-offs
Not every issue can or should be fixed. The best complainers show they understand this: “I know we can’t fix everything, but this feels high-leverage.”
That turns you from nitpicker into someone who sees the big picture.
7. Be Self-Aware
Sometimes it’s the system. Sometimes it’s just you. Framing complaints with humility signals maturity:
“This might just be me, but here’s how I’m experiencing it.”
That softens edges without diluting your point.
8. Close the Loop
If something changes, acknowledge it. Thank people who acted. Or if the problem resolves itself, update the group. Chronic complainers vanish after they’ve dumped. Effective ones build trust by following through.
Why It Matters
Complaints done well don’t just help you—they help teams, companies, and even bottom lines.
Disengaged employees (often tied to ignored complaints) cost the global economy $8.8 trillion annually in lost productivity.
Improving employee well-being leads to a 10% average productivity increase.
Engaged employees are 18% more productive and drive 23% higher profitability.
Your complaint isn’t just catharsis—it could be the seed of meaningful improvement
In Summary
You want to complain away if the following is true:
Complaining well is just another form of communication. Do it right, and instead of being “that person,” you might just become the person people want to listen to.
Effective communication is 20% what you say and 80% how you listen.
Until next time,
Ajay